A "Real" Visit

"Perhaps Juliette's life could have been different if the meetings which have decided its course had been less silent, superficial, or routine, if more thoughts had been exchanged, if humanity had been able to show itself in them (6)."  - Theodore Zeldin, An Intimate History of Humanity

This quote was one that really stuck with me way back when I first started my second book, but became really something last week when I was in Budapest.

Let us begin with a story.  I have a cousin named Bela.  He is Hungarian, and around 40 years old.  He was born in a small Romanian town outside Oradea, and had what you may call an interesting life.  Being born in 1970, Romania was an interesting place to say the least.  At an age of around 17, he and his new wife decided to flee.  I don't know the whole story, but I do know that they ended up separated at some point and reunited in Austria.  The point is that Bela has expereinced some tough stuff growing up in a part of the world that was ironically largely forgotten after it ceased to be the "enemy."

That is an all-too-brief history of Bela, who was the reason we were traveling to Budapest.  I am of Hungarian descent, and my family is in contact with Bela, so I decided to let him know I was visiting Budapest.  I expected a dinner maybe, but that was it.  Was I ever wrong. . .

Bela and family went out of their way to tend to our every need!  He drove us around, showed us the sights, told us where was good to eat, and even invited us to his own home for a dinner (which honestly was more of a feast!)  This was one of the greatest shows of hospitality I have ever seen!

But, despite all of that, what really stuck with me was how open and honest Bela was.  He was willing and eager to talk about anything and everything.  One example is this, I mentioned that I could see why my family went from Hungary to West Virginia because the landscape is so similar, to which he responded "yes, but you have to realize that things here were really terrible."  I responded with a typical English response, " I imagine."  His response really made me think.  He simply said, "No, you can't imagine.  I was a young man of 18 when the Russians left, you can't have any idea how terrible it was.  It is impossible for you to imagine it."

Wow.  That honesty with me, merely a distant (very distant) cousin, that was really something to me.  Having lived through something like that made him really appreciate everything he had, I mean genuinely appreciate it.  It was so refreshing to talk to someone so genuinely thankful.

It got me thinking, I need to make sure to get something meaningful like that out of all of my trips.  What use is there in going somewhere and just exchanging pleasantries with everyone, I would get so much more out of it if I bonded with those I was traveling with, or strangers, or whoever.  Trips would be that much better if nothing was "silent, superficial, or routine."