Much Needed Walk in the Park

So, after Church today I came home and decided to  watch one of my favorite movies " All about the Benjamins". Towards the end of the movie, my phone rang. It was Petra, a new aquaintance that is becoming a friend. She says, " I'm coming over to the Chateau to get my cuttiing boards and I was going to try to get Jim and Jan to take a walk with me in the park, do you want to come?" How random is that! She is such a random person and that is just what I need because I am too structured at times. I find myself being on the extreme right, being too resposible, too senseable, and over thinking everything. So any way I met her at the gate by the restaurant, I don't want to write the name for fear of getting it wrong, and we started to walk and talk. While talking, or after talking to her, I realized that I get bothered by a lot of small stuff and I let it kind of take a way from who I am. She on the other hand, is 40 and she's worried about less than I am. Isn't that backwards. This is the time where I'm supposed to be taking my risks, learning from my mistakes and having fun, but I'm too old for my age and worried about unnecessary things. I guess I'm so worried about ruining my life that I'm not living.
Anyway I realized that I in the process of losing my old self, Little Macy, and coming into the Lady that I am supposed to be. I think that's why I become frustrated at times because I am in transition and it is difficult to know exactly what to say or do because I coming out of the Macy that I thought I was, into the Macy that I really am. I'm totally both, so I kind of don't know who I am right now. So think I'll continue to exist and slowly come into my living and enjoy this internal change despite the frustration that comes along with it.